This essay was really well written and kept you engaged. Sedaris had great developed scenes and good use of dialogue. He also had thorough tangents that were applicable to the essay. Check it out: http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2007/12/17/071217fa_fact_sedaris?currentPage=1

When people started exhibiting signs of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) in the 14^th century anyone who had sacrilegious, sexual, or any inappropriate thoughts were believed to be possessed by the devil. Exorcism was often practiced to rid the person from the devil. Centuries later, French clinician Esquirol, attributed OCD to self doubt and uncertainty. Other French scholars linked the disease to inhibition and mental exhaustion (“Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Causes” 1). As years passed the presumptions surrounding OCD have changed based on intellectual and scientific knowledge. Therefore, the study of OCD has evolved over centuries and how someone acquires the mental disease has fluctuated. (“What Causes Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder” 1).

In the midst of the 20^th century psychoanalytic theories explaining OCD began to rise (“What Causes Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder” 1). Sigmund Freud believed that OCD was linked to a conflict of the unconscious, which became evident through obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors (“Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Causes” 1). The obsessions that an OCD patient experiences is believed to represent a need for control that they are consciously unaware of, but is reflected through their present behavior. In the progression of the 20^th century psychoanalytic theories showed less credibility; although this theory may seem practical there is no evidence that proves this. Psychoanalysis allows researchers to understand why someone may have the obsessions they have, but does little to explain its original development (“What Causes Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder” 1).

Last month my mother was able to solve the mystery of where my brother, Jason and sister, Julie, acquired the genes that diagnosed them with OCD. My bomma, which means grandmother in Belgium, recently moved into an assisted living nursing home because she has Alzheimer’s disease and is unable to take care of herself. My mom has begun cleaning out bomma’s house to get it ready to sell and was quite shocked at what she found. Tucked behind every couch, closet, chair, and desk bomma had piles of lottery tickets stacked and bound; five garbage bags were not enough to get rid of all the tickets. Bomma wrapped up the lottery tickets with such precision. Each stack of twenty was tied with a single white thread like a gift waiting to be unwrapped. She was also unable to throw anything away. This becomes quite obvious when she couldn’t even throw out pay stubs from my deceased grandfather in the 1950’s, magazine offers, old Niagara Mohawk bills, and unused bank envelopes. Although bomma had so much useless paperwork it was interesting to hear and see how she tried to preserve everything. The pay stubs, magazine offers, old Niagara Mohawk bills, and unused bank envelopes were each wrapped up with other sheets of paper surrounding them, placed in envelopes, stacked on top of one another, and then enclosed with several rubber bands; a process that makes no sense to you and me, but is logical to her. The present state of bomma’s house made my mom realize that Jason and Julie acquired OCD from bomma, even though there is limited psychological evidence that supports this claim.

OCD is a psychological illness that causes people to have unwanted obsessions (thoughts) and to have compulsions (behaviors) that is repeated to try to end thoughts. Obsessions are images or thoughts that continuously run through a person’s head, while compulsions are the behaviors one performs to get rid of the obsession. About 3% of the U.S. has OCD and it affects both genders equally. It is not uncommon to have OCD and phobias, anxiety disorders, or panic attacks. In most cases OCD makes one feel nervous and afraid, so compulsions help to cushion them. Obsessions vary among individuals, but some of the most common are fear of germs, fear of thinking evil thoughts, fear of harming a family member of friend, and concern with order. OCD patients will try to get rid of their obsessions by performing a variety of compulsions such as: cleaning or grooming, checking doors, appliances, and drawers to make sure they are locked or closed, or organizing items in a certain way (“Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder” 1).

Jason was diagnosed with OCD when he was an early teen. When he was first diagnosed I was unaware of it because he is twelve years older than me. However, growing up I quickly became attentive to it. He is afraid of contamination; there would be times when I would watch him inspect drinking glasses and watch him put them in the sink because they had water stains. Jason would take each glass turn it in every direction up side down, and sideways to make sure the glass he was drinking out of was immaculate. He overcame his fear of contamination on a drinking glass, but his fear is still here. About a year ago Jason’s wife gave birth to their second child, Caden. After Caden’s birth, Jason became terrified of being contaminated by Caden and their other children Paige (his step daughter) and Mackenzie. He wouldn’t play with them, hold them, bathe them, or change their diapers. Anything that his children touched or was around he would not go near. Very often, when the kids would come near him he would yell “Get them away from me! Get them away from me!” He was so petrified to be contaminated that he refused to put his clothes in the same hamper as theirs and he would use the bathroom as little as possible. Since then, Jason has taken the necessary steps to overcome his fear of contamination. He sees a psychologist, takes medication, and uses behavior management techniques. He now is able to hold his kids and play with them, but it is difficult for him to bathe them or change their diapers. Having OCD is a daily battle that one’s fears are constantly manipulated by their brain.

In 2002, there was a study conducted by Dr. Hong and colleagues at Johns Hopkins University and the Bloomberg School of Medicine. Dr. Hong and his colleagues were studying patients with a combination of OCD and/or depression because they believe that there is a genetic connection to chromosome 9 and OCD. To complete this study, Dr. Hong used 179 people from 50 families and had DNA samples taken; 105 participants had OCD. Dr. Hong was able to find evidence of an OCD gene; he was able to discern that ordering compulsions, grooming behaviors, and diagnosis of other anxiety disorders was much more prevalent in families that had a history of OCD in first and second degree relatives (“Obsession-Complusive Disorder at Johns Hopkins” 1). This study proves that OCD is prevalent in families and it is not a type of disease that you simply catch like the common cold.

A study performed at Johns Hopkins roughly eight years ago proves that OCD is genetic. This study proves first degree relatives (brother, sister, and parents) who have OCD are five times more likely of acquiring the disease at some point in their lives. To complete this study, researchers used 80 people with OCD and 343 of their first degree relatives. The OCD patients and their first degree relatives were evaluated against 73 people with no mental illness and 300 of their first degree relatives; a total of 796 participants from the control and experimental group. Twin studies have even shown that identical twins have a much higher frequency of getting OCD than fraternal twins. Now that researchers have confirmed that OCD is genetic; they can begin searching for the gene that affects this. (“Study Show Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Runs in families”, 1). Having research that supports the claim that OCD is hereditary is enlightening, but frightening. Families will now be aware of the mental illness and they will be able to learn the signs and symptoms of OCD and its related illnesses. When Jason first started showing signs of OCD, my parents had no idea what was going on; they were worried about him and his peculiar behavior. When Julie was diagnosed with it my parents already knew what the illness was and the measures that needed to be done to help overcome her obsessions. After reading into this research there is no doubt that OCD stems from a genetic basis.

My older sister, Julie, was diagnosed with an eating disorder and OCD her freshman year of college. Julie’s obsession with being perfect and having complete control of her life forced her into binge eating, purging, and over exercising. My family found out about Julie’s problem after she had written emails to a close family friend describing her acquired habits. Julie and her friends would do kick boxing together every night of the week in a spare dorm space, but Julie would do an extra work out after her friends left. She also binged and purged. Once my parents were aware of Julie’s problem they confronted her and took her to the same psychiatrist that Jason saw in his teens. The psychiatrist made Julie keep a food diary and made it clear to not allow her to go to the bathroom alone.

Although there is scientific research that supports the theory that OCD is hereditary some may disagree that OCD is not genetic, but an acquired disease through observation. For example, many may argue that if a child watches his/her parent repeatedly wash their hands and agonize about it, then the child potentially could be affected. However, researchers have found that one’s obsessions and compulsions may be different (“Study Show Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Runs in families”, 1). Jason’s obsession was germs and hurting his children, so he refused to play with them, or even hold them. Julie’s obsession was being perfect in every aspect of her life and having control, so she used binging and purging as her control.

Many websites that I have visited to find information about OCD have stated that OCD is hereditary; few of these websites discuss the current research being done to find more answers about this mentally disabling disease. Since so many people are affected by OCD either if they have it or if they are related to someone who has it, new information needs to be disbursed. Through education people will learn more about OCD, its affects, and how it’s treated. It also is important for research to be circulated among the public; especially for families like mine. For years my parents wondered where and how Jason and Julie acquired OCD from; just recently they found the answer. As a young woman this is particularly important for me because if I have children I will need to be aware that they could obtain the OCD gene. OCD is like any other disabling disease that is genetic. It is important to have the most accurate family health history, so all members will not be surprised, but ready to handle any medical problem.

Works Cited

Familydoctor.org. “Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: What It Is and How to Treat It.” American Academy of Family Physicians November 2006. 2 April 2008 <http://familydoctor.org >.

Johns Hopkins Medical Institutions. “Study Shows Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Runs In Families.” ScienceDaily 26 April 2000. 31 March 2008 <http://www.sciencedaily.com­ /releases/2000/04/000426080211.htm>.

Johns Hopkins Medical Institutions. “What is OCD?” Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences 2003. 2 April 2008 <http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org>.

K12 Academics. “Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Causes.” Wisconsin Family Ties Inc. 9 April 2008 <http://www.k12academics.com/index.html>.

Northern County Psychiatric Associates. “Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.” 1 January 2005. 2 April 2008 from <http://www.ncpamd.com/obsessive.htm>.

Psych Central. “What Causes Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.” 10 December 2006. 11 April 2008 from < http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/what-causes-obsessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd/>.

]]> http://crandella802.wordpress.com/2008/04/12/essay-3/feed/ 0 crandella802 http://crandella802.wordpress.com/2008/03/30/revised-book-review/ http://crandella802.wordpress.com/2008/03/30/revised-book-review/#comments Sun, 30 Mar 2008 20:32:29 +0000 crandella802 http://crandella802.wordpress.com/2008/03/30/revised-book-review/ ]]> The novel Because of Winn-Dixie By Kate DiCamillo is a realistic fiction novel that encompasses the life of Opal, a young girl who moves to Naomi, Florida with her father.  The reader quickly learns that Opal’s father, The Preacher, is a single parent of a very unique and loving girl. Since Opal is new to Naomi and lonely she is desperate for companionship. Her first friend in her new home is Winn-Dixie. Winn-Dixie is similar to Opal because he couldn’t stand to be left alone, like Opal could never get over her mother leaving. Through the help of Winn-Dixie Opal opens herself up to new friendships and experiences. 

Every day during Opal’s first summer in Naomi was an interesting one. She and Winn-Dixie befriended Otis from Getrude’s Pets, Miss Franny from the library, and Gloria Dump who is visually impaired. Through these individuals Opal learns their stories and the sorrow they experienced. Otis is an ex-convict who only has his animals to share his love of music with. Miss Franny told her story of Littmus loosing his family in a fire, and Gloria shares her battle with alcoholic.  Gloria also shares with Opal the drowning of Amanda’s brother. Carson.

I chose to read this book for a literacy course that I am currently taking. After reading this novel I learned that, Opal’s story is relatable for young children and adults. It embraces sorrow, relationships, love, hope, and humor.  For example, through Winn-Dixie and all of Opal’s new friends she was able to tackle her past. In the beginning of the novel, the reader meets a young naive girl who focuses on her mother not being present in her life. As the novel progresses, Opal encounters new people, such as Gloria who helps her accept the absence of her mother. Gloria also is able to show Opal how to feel close to her mother. For instance, Gloria helped Opal plant a tree because Opal’s mother was a gardener.

Even though DiCamillo touches on serious topics, such as loosing a parent, she is also able to bring humor into the story as well. For example, after Opal adopted Winn-Dixie the preacher and her quickly learned that Winn-Dixie hates being alone.  The preacher allowed Opal to bring Winn-Dixie to church as long as the dog stayed tied up outside. However, that did not last long because as the preacher was trying to preach howls were echoing through the church.

DiCamillo writes, “He wasn’t but two or three words into his sermon when there was a terrible howl coming from outside.

The preacher tried to ignore it.

“Today,” he said.

“Aaaaaarrooo,” said Winn-Dixie.

“Please,” said the preacher.

“Arrrroooowwww,” said Winn-Dixie back.

“Friends,” said the preacher.

“Arrruiiiiipppp,” wailed Winn-Dixie….

“Opal,” said the preacher.

“Owwwwww,” said Winn-Dixie.

“Yes sir?” I said.

“Go get that dog!” he yelled.

“Yes sir!” I yelled back.

Although the preacher was against Winn-Dixie being in the church, he caved in and allowed it!

DiCamillo was able to write this story in a way that brushed upon many topics without making the reader feel overwhelmed. According to Betsy Groban of the New York Times this novel is “a poignant and delicately told story”. DiCamillo is able to skillfully write a piece that triggers emotions in all readers.  Parts of the plot reminded me of the story Dear Mr. Henshaw by Beverly Clearly. Although the protagonist is male, readers learn about his difficult life. The protagonist, Leigh lives with his mother in a very small home and is very lonely; similar to Opal living with her father and being alone in a new town.  

This was a well-written and thought evoking novel that I would recommend anyone to read. Every time I read it I find something else that I enjoy about it.

1. Luther says, “Several months ago the affiliate here in Birmingham asked us to be on call to engage in a nonviolent direct-action program if such were deemed necessary.”

He could have used commit for the word engage.

2. Luther says, “Moreover, I am cognizant of the interrelatedness of all communities and states.”

He could have used confused for interrelatedness.

Agreement

1. Luther discusses agreements to begin the process of desegregation. He says “On the basis of these promises, the Reverend Fred Shuttlesworth and the leaders of the Alabama Christian Movements for Human Rights agreed to a moratorium on all demonstrations.

 Luther could have said suspension or delay for the word moratorium.

2. Luther discuss his title as an extremist. “But though I was initially disappointed as being categorized as an extremist, as I continued to think about the matter I gradually gained a measure of satisfaction with the label.”

Luther could have said get or gather for gain.

Disagreement

1. Luther says, “All segregation statutes are unjust because segregation distorts the soul and damages the personality.”

Luther could have used the word alter for distort.

2. Luther states, “But now I must affirm that it is just as wrong, or perhaps even more so, to use moral means to preserve immoral ends.”

Luther could have used the word state for affirm. 

Recommendation

1. Luther explains, “In spite of my shattered dreams, I cam to Birmingham with the hope that the white religious leadership of this community would see the justice of our cause and, with deep moral concern, would serve the channel through which our just grievances could reach the power structure.

Luther could have used the word carry for channel.

2. Luther states, “Now is the time to make real the promise of democracy and transform our pending national elegy into a creative psalm of brotherhood.”

He could have used the word change for transform.

Paragraph:

Although the media portrays divorce rate as being higher than ever, it actually is lower than one may assume. Researchers say that it is fallacious that one in two marriages will fail. They reveal that for every 1,000 people there are 7.5 marriages and 3.8 divorces, but this calculation is very often flawed. Every year the number of people divorcing is different from the people who are getting married. They believe that calculations that analyze divorce rates are futile. While researchers may say that examining divorce rate statistics is useless, these numbers can also be helpful. These numbers can prove that the divorce rate is not as high as Americans perceive it to be. They also can serve as a stepping-stone to assist Americans in seeking ways to correct marital problems without resulting in divorce.

 The reader quickly learns that Opal’s father, The Preacher, is a single parent of a very unique and loving girl. Since Opal is new to Naomi and lonely she is desperate for companionship. Her first friend in her new home is Winn-Dixie. Winn-Dixie is similar to Opal because he “couldn’t stand to be left alone” like Opal could never get over her mother leaving. Winn-Dixie helps open Opal up into meeting new people and willingly create friendships without judging. 

Every day during Opal’s first summer in Naomi was an interesting one. She and Winn-Dixie befriended Otis from Getrude’s Pets, Miss Franny from the library, and Gloria Dump who is visually impaired. Through these individuals Opal learns their stories and the sorrow they experienced. Otis is an ex-convict who only has his animals to share his love of music with. Miss Franny told her story of Littmus loosing his family in a fire, and Gloria shares her battle with alcoholic.  Gloria also shares with Opal the drowning of Amanda’s brother. Carson.

The combination of these friendships, moving to Naomi, and coming of age Opal is willing and able to tackle her past. In the beginning of the novel, the reader meets a young naive girl who focuses on her mother not being present in her life. She is unable to get past not having a mother and just a father. Opal has the preacher make a list of 10 things about her mother just so she can feel close to her. As the novel progresses, Opal encounters new people, such as Gloria who helps her accept the absence of her mother. Gloria also helps Opal learn how to feel connected to her mother even though she isn’t present.  For instance, Opal’s mother liked to plant and later in the novel Gloria helps Opal plant a tree. Finally, at the end of the novel the reader is able to see the acceptance, happiness, and openness that Opal had been searching for all because of one stray dog…

A year prior to their wedding, Barb and I had a good relationship. She viewed me as the “little sister she never had”. I enjoyed spending time with her because I felt that I could talk to her about things that I couldn’t talk to my conservative sister, Julie about. I would talk to Barb about the usual girl things; boys, shopping, friends, and partying. When she came up on a weekend to visit we would exercise together, go shopping, or just talk.

I now “show” the reader my relationship with Barb instead of telling.

A year prior to their wedding, Barb and I had a good relationship. She viewed me as the “little sister she never had”. I enjoyed spending time with her because I felt that I could talk to her about things that I couldn’t talk to my conservative sister, Julie about.  One morning while we were at Long Beach Island, Barb and I were finishing up our 6mile run on the island and talking  about my boyfriend, Ron.  We were covered with sweat, it looked like we just dove into the ocean and were running back to our house for breakfast. Our shirts and shorts were soaked through. The humidity was a killer. It made each step harder and hotter.  Even though our muscles ached we pushed through the pain and kept the intervals going. “When you feel like you can’t sprint anymore run 3 more blocks then walk for 2 blocks” said Barb, panting. “So,  how did you feel when Ron gave you the ring for your anniversary? Are you ready to be that serious with him?” she continued as she put much energy into producing the words and getting them out of her mouth.  “Hold on, I have a stitch in my right side that won’t go away” I said as I reached my right arm over my head and to the side to try to get rid of the dagger in my side. “I was really surprised and happy. I wanted to take our relationship to the next level, but I was afraid to say anything. I didn’t want to initiate ‘the talk’ with him, ya know?”  I effortlessly lifted up my left hand and smiled to look at the white gold band with three sections of diamonds that Ron gave me, I smiled, and then put my left hand in Barbs face to show her. “Okay, Al were almost there. Just 10 more blocks to go. How about we run 8 as fast as we can then walk the last 2?” Barb said as she forced the words out. “That’s good. The best thing you can do with Ron is be honest with him. But, be careful when you start school because things may change.” Barb said as she gasped for air between words. Each word took more and more effort as we began sprinting to our destination.

2/24/08

Essay #2-Reflection

Prof Nicholas

            I stood next to the table where the newlyweds, my brother, Matt and Barb, were sitting, while a room full of fifty people peered at me with wondering eyes. I grasped the microphone and began making my toast. Unlike any other time when I had to make a speech or do a presentation, I wasn’t nervous. My body didn’t shake, my hands didn’t sweat, and my voice didn’t tremble. I really didn’t care and now thinking back to that moment two years ago, I don’t even remember that “heart felt” toast, that the guests enjoyed, I gave.  I was making the toast because Matt and Barb asked me to and they decided not to have a bridal party, so they decided to have someone from each family give the toast.

A year prior to their wedding, Barb and I had a good relationship. She viewed me as the “little sister she never had”. I enjoyed spending time with her because I felt that I could talk to her about things that I couldn’t talk to my conservative sister, Julie about. I would talk to Barb about the usual girl things; boys, shopping, friends, and partying. When she came up on a weekend to visit we would exercise together, go shopping, or just talk.

            The close knit relationship I had with Barb plummeted as quickly as it developed. Barb is sarcastic; this is part of her personality. But her sarcasm went too far when she started making snide comments and rude gestures towards me, my family and my boyfriend, Ron. One day, Barb and my brother were spending the weekend at my house and they walked in while I was running on the treadmill. I slowed down the speed to 4.5mph to say hi to them and she looked at me up and down and said “Do you really think running is going to make you loose weight?” To add insult to injury, she knew that I was suffering from an eating disorder and seeing a counselor that was helping me get on a healthy work out and eating routine. On another occasion, Barb began mocking Julie’s parenting skills even though she has no kids. She made fun of the fact that my sister did crafts with her kids by saying, “Wow! How cute. Julie buys the materials and gives the kids paint to smear on a piece of paper and calls it a gift.” When Barb and Matt got married they asked me to give a toast, before telling me that Ron was not invited.  But, Barb invited two of her cross country runners because they made States, and other family members and family friends were allowed to bring a guest. Ron and I have been dating longer then Matt and Barb have even been together.

            Sarcasm is hurtful for some, confusing for others, and literal for the rest. People who have brain damage or those who are autistic can’t interpret sarcasm the way the rest of the population does. In most cases autistic children take sarcasm seriously.  If you said “It is raining cats and dogs outside” the autistic child would think that cats and dogs were falling from the sky. Or, if an employee came to work and their boss said “Don’t work too hard”, most people would interpret the employee as a slacker, but an autistic child would construe the conversation as the employee being a hard worker. When Barb used sarcasm to belittle the gifts that my niece and nephew created for their “meme and papa” she made a thoughtful gesture appear cheap and thoughtless.

            Michael Reddy, the author of The Conduit Metaphor — A Case of Frame Conflict in our Language about Language believes that the fallacy behind effective communication is the “conduit metaphor”. He uses the postal service to explain this metaphor. The post office represents language in which a package/communication is sent from one person to the other without corruption. In this theory one person tries to code their ideas and feelings in their own words and then the receiver identifies with these codes through their personal experiences. According to Reddy, “Words correspond to different ideas and feelings for different people, and it can take multiple attempts before an idea has been understood satisfactorily.” Every person interprets words and ideas differently from the other. Very often, it can take much effort for two people or more to communicate because of the differences in how language is interpreted in cultures, individuals, and communities.

            Robert Hetrick, PhD, who wrote the article “VIOLENCE and the POWER of WORDS”, believes that we are our own “self-abusers”. He affirms that our reaction to another person’s words is when we know the meaning of the words that are being used. Hetrick views words as sounds or written symbols that are processed by our brain and then we give these symbols a meaning. He proves his theory by showing, when a loved one speaks to you in a foreign language and speaks to you despicably; you are most likely not going to be hurt. In this situation you do not understand the words or sounds of the person speaking to you; therefore you cannot assign meanings to the symbols. This theory proves that we are in charge of our own understanding. When we understand the meaning of words, our impulse is to react. As the receiver of words, we must choose how we will react to the symbols and not be “self-abusers”.

            The relationship between Barb and I took another blow at this past Christmas when she came to visit with my brother. My parents took them, Ron, and myself out to dinner at the Turf Tavern in Scotia. Ron and I didn’t want to go, but we went for my parents because they wanted to have a relaxing and enjoyable holiday. My parents have always been supportive of our relationship and helped us with school or life when we needed it. As soon as we sat down at a circular table set for six, the sarcastic and uncouth comments began. During this awkward dinner my Dad managed to drink 1 ½ bottles of merlot and get very drunk. He insisted that if he had a cup of coffee that he would be able to drive home. I remember learning in the class Drugs and the Human Body with Dr. Strazza last semester, that caffeine does not sober up a drunk person, it keeps them awake. I shared this information with everyone else at the table and Barb turned her head at me, squinted her eyes, and raised her upper lip and said to me, “Are you kidding me? Are you really that stupid to actually listen to something your professor tells you that is completely untrue?” After she said that to me I could feel my face burning red, I was embarrassed, and completely shocked that she would even say something like that to me.

            The evening was almost over; we were finishing up our desert. The tension at the table seemed to diminish, probably because my dad was still drunk and Barb had a buzz going. Since I am the youngest and my parents had me when they were older, it has been the family joke that I am the most spoiled and according to my three older siblings “I get away with murder”. My mom and I both commented that we couldn’t believe that I was graduating in a year and I was going to have to live in the “real world”. Almost immediately after we made the comment, Barb shot out, “Allie, you will forever rely on your parents and you’re never going to grow up and live in the real world”.  At that moment I was doing everything to not stand up and slap her across her face and not cry. She not only called me “Allie”, which since I was in elementary school I hated being called, but that whole evening she insulted my intelligence and my ability to take care of myself as a responsible adult.

            I was so infuriated and hurt that I went home didn’t talk to anybody about how I felt and made plans with friends and work, so I didn’t have to be home any of the nights that Matt and Barb were there. Within a day everyone caught on that I was mad. Barb said nothing to me, not an apology, we spend the rest of the vacation not talking.

            Remembering what happened between Barb and I at Christmas, I now recognize that I did not handle myself the way that I could have. I should have confronted her and told her how upset and offended I was by her comments. Dr. Dorene Lehavi created a list known as, “The top Ways to Improve Your Communication Skills” that give short, concise statements, which can help you become a better communicator.  The statements that stood out to me and pertained to my situation the most is to be honest with my feelings and how I felt at specific moments. Bottling up emotions is dangerous and does more harm then good. If I had talked to Barb she would have known how I felt. Most importantly I need to listen to myself-how do I react inside when I’m around Barb or when she says things to me, can I change these reactions?

1. At what point has our society accepted inter racial relationships, homosexual relationships, etc.?

2.  What determines “stepping” over your bounds in a relationship?

3.  How have  relationships evolved over the years (Ex: the divorce rate is much higher than it was years ago-why is this?)

4.  What are the characteristics to a good or bad relationships?

* Trees give us oxygen, but we destroy them by cutting them down.

* The sun is good for us and bad for us at the same time.

*Money is good for us and bad for us.

*The beauty of the snowfall can put others in harm.

*Too many soothing raindrops ca drown a village.

*The lack of muddy puddles can be detrimentalto a corn field.

* Without the illuminating moon the ocean would have no sound.

*Hummingbirds-still but fleeting.

*Superbowl 42-what should have been wasn’t.

*The writer’s strike-will be continued until whats due is acknowledged.

*Music-joyful melodies to different ears.

*What one day can be tears of joy, the next can be tears of saddiness.

*Your home is familiar.

*It is never to late to make your future happen.

*Secrets are kept best when unspoken.

*Gazing at starry skies led the slaves to freedom.

*Anger and joy as the lost child is found.

*Wasted calories is just as bad as a starving body is withering away.

*Conservative Republicans can be just as dangerous as liberal Democrats.

*In competitive swimming the clock is for you and against you.

*Puppy love- wonderful and exasperating.

*Kittens-soul mates and fencers.

*Horses- strong and vulnerable.

*The heartbeat- strong, yet in an instant can be fragile.